Stella’s Ideas on the Pandemic

With life getting again to one thing that resembles normalcy, I made a decision to ask my cat, Stella, how the pandemic and the lockdown affected her.

Stella, are you unhappy I’ve gone again to the workplace? I labored from residence for thus lengthy.
Actually? What residence?

This residence.
THIS residence?
I sat proper at our kitchen desk for a yr!
You certain you didn’t work subsequent door? Numerous bizarre issues happening in that home.
Stella, your meals bowl is correct below the desk. You actually handed instantly beneath me numerous instances a day.
Effectively, I do like checking the bowl between naps. “You by no means know” is my motto. However I don’t recall seeing your legs. Had been you carrying shorts?
What do shorts must do with it?
My psyche tends to dam out your uncovered legs. One thing to do with spider veins.
I don’t have spider veins!
Inform that to my psyche.
Effectively, what about masks? Did it have an effect on you seeing me all of a sudden carrying a masks?
In fact! I bear in mind being so completely satisfied you had been lastly getting work executed.
Work executed? What are you speaking —
Your nostril.
Hey, what’s flawed with my —
However when your nostril hadn’t modified I figured you had been simply masking up your face. Like your hats in your hairline.
However then the fun-mask interval started, and I knew we had been coping with one thing larger than a ballooning brow.
We had been coping with a pandemic, Stella. However we don’t have to speak in regards to the fun-mask interval.
Oh, however we should! First got here the leopard-print masks, if I bear in mind, then the one with cat whiskers and at last a masks that stated, in big bubble letters, “I Am a Cat Dude.”
Advantageous, I obtained slightly carried away on Amazon one night time.
Did you actually must deliver me into it?
Be severe, Stella. Didn’t the lockdown have an effect on your life in any respect?
Effectively, I did just like the social-distancing coverage. Cats have had that one for years.
Cats have a social-distancing coverage?
Nevertheless it’s not measured in toes. You don’t wish to know what it’s measured by, truly.
How about the truth that all of a sudden none of my associates came visiting and we spent all our nights alone?
Are you actually going responsible the lockdown in your lack of a social life?
Hey, I had associates over on a regular basis earlier than the lockdown. Like … Jim.
Jim? You’re going way back to Jim?
No matter. You’ll be glad to know I’m vaccinated and in a position to exit, actually get again within the swing of issues, so issues must be getting again to regular right here.
How lengthy have you ever been within the swing of issues?
A handful of months no less than.
Huh. And but you managed to observe the whole lot of Downton Abbey AND Gray’s Anatomy throughout that point.
That stuff actually sucks you in.
Hey, I’m proper there with you. Actually liking The Crown, too.
Effectively, fortunately we obtained by means of the worst of it OK, and no person we all know obtained sick.
What would you say if I informed you I’ve been in lockdown my whole life?
I might say go to mattress, Stella.
Not earlier than The Crown. That Princess Margaret simply kills me!

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